This article aims to share my experience as the mother of Jo, a girl with autism. My intention is to reflect on how the personal and the sensitive intertwine to rebuild a parenthood that is both authentic and revealing, an experience that allows me to speak from my own life.

As parents, it is important that beyond stigmas we can look without fear. We must highlight the importance of overcoming the initial shock that many families face when receiving a diagnosis. It is not simply about accepting a label, but about rediscovering daily life through a different lens. The focus is on enjoying the “small details,” those moments that often go unnoticed, and on fostering inclusion, not as a mandate, but as a celebration of uniqueness.

For this reason, I invite you to take a revisionist look at the language we use when speaking about autism. Let us reconsider how we express ourselves, and discard negative stereotypes. It is about transforming the language: moving away from terms like “disorder” or “disease” toward words that acknowledge singularity and a different way of interpreting the world. Jo, my Jo (my autistic girl), has a perspective on life that is different from the traditional one. Her way of processing the world is unique… and perhaps if I had focused only on the clinical diagnosis, I would have missed seeing the person. This is important because the emotional impact is profound, not only for autistic people but also for their communities.

It means not understanding that many of the real barriers are social and attitudinal. It means not realizing that we are facing a problem of teaching, not a disorder of learning. It means not seeing that the diagnosis is often condemned through labeling.

Carl Rogers once said: “My experience is my highest authority.” While my testimony comes from lived experience, it also connects with research that values affective bonds as essential drivers of development in children with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Affection, mindful attention, and shared enjoyment significantly influence their emotional and cognitive well-being.

This is why I believe it is fundamental to reduce the weight of the diagnosis. Science shows that when parents receive proper emotional guidance, it helps reduce anxiety, strengthens secure attachment, and fosters more adaptive environments for autistic children.

Therefore, the terminology we use is essential. In psychology and in public policy, it is increasingly recognized that words such as “challenge” or “a different way of perceiving the world” protect dignity and promote respect, unlike older medicalized concepts that reinforced stigma.

Recognizing this does not weaken personal testimony; on the contrary, it strengthens and expands it with evidence from developmental psychology, neurodiversity, and education. And notice that I speak of accompanying, not just “including.”

Although “inclusion” is generally accepted, when I consider its etymology, it leaves me with a certain discomfort. The word comes from the Latin inclusio, meaning “action and effect of putting inside” or “confinement.” It derives from in- (“into”), claudere (“to close”), and the suffix -sion (action and effect). From this root comes the verb includere, “to enclose.”

Returning to what I want to share through my experience: I invite you to break away from the stereotype of “sad autism” or “disease,” and instead propose a vision of acceptance, admiration, and learning.

Without a doubt, I believe that the sea of life would not be the same without that very special drop I call Jo. I invite you to make small transformations, which can guarantee great effects. Let’s shift the focus from “What’s wrong with her?” to “How can I accompany her?” This is not a small detail, it is a before and after that can change everything.

Let us rethink our narratives. Let us embrace parenting from curiosity, love, and respect. Let us connect with our children, becoming a bridge between the everyday and the transformative. And let us remember that, beyond diagnoses, what truly matters are bonds, the gaze, and the tenderness we share.

At the risk of being extensive in this article, I also want to share some research that supports what I am trying to convey. The diagnosis often condemns through the label, without recognizing that this life condition must always be centered on the person, beyond what the textbooks may say.

Scientific References

– Hume et al. (2022, evaluated in 2025): The CSESA model, implemented in 60 secondary schools, showed significant improvements in academic performance, social competence, autonomy, behavior, and preparation for transition to adulthood.

– A systematic review of 56 studies assessed interventions in mainstream schools aimed at the social inclusion of autistic students. It found improvements in access to school activities, although the quality of social interactions and mutual friendships still requires further development. A holistic strategy was suggested—one that transforms the environment, not only student skills.

– A 2023 study applying the Bioecological Model of Development identified key elements for a strengths-based inclusive education: specialized instruction, differentiated curricula, integration with shared interests, active adult participation, family collaboration, and positive teacher attitudes.

– A 2025 scoping review compiled the experiences of autistic students in mainstream secondary schools. It identified critical aspects: challenging sensory environments, communication and relationships with teachers/peers, inclusion/exclusion, autistic identity, and emotional well-being. It recommends direct collaboration with students to design effective supports.

– Recent research (University of South Australia, 2025) showed that autistic students aged 10 to 14 still face difficulties in schools: lack of support, delicate peer/staff relationships, and inadequate sensory environments. It highlights the need for sensitive support and concrete adaptations.

– The NPDC (National Professional Development Center on Autism Spectrum Disorders) was evaluated in 60 elementary schools through an RCT. Teachers trained in evidence-based practices showed improved educational and social outcomes for autistic students.

– A longitudinal study (2002–2018) revealed that 92% of autistic adolescents had an IEP that included a transition plan. However, it identified racial disparities and differences among those with intellectual disabilities. It emphasized the need for collaboration between families, schools, and adolescents to improve equity.

– An article in Autism in Adulthood (2025) stresses the urgency of strengthening coordinated efforts in universities to support autistic students: expanding inclusive programs, adequate resources, and structured support networks in higher education.

– A February 2025 study presented Echo-Teddy, a social robot based on large language models (LLMs) to support the social and communicative development of autistic students. This tool shows promise in personalizing and enriching educational experiences with adaptability and ethics.

— Mariana Manzo Saavedra